Monkeys, money and emotion

Saw this piece about Monkey Economics on Kruse Kronicle. What caught my interest is when they said that they obtained “economic outcomes not through sitting down and negotiation, but through feeling and emotion.” Sounds a little like what we learned about in our counseling and member care seminar last week.

Their conclusion on the broadcast, “It’s the law of supply and demand played out along the neurohormonal pathways that deal with emotion in the monkey brain.”

Here is a link to the transcript and the the radio broadcast which is entertaining in itself.

 

Parents as sculptors of our children’s brains

Several of our speakers last week tried to help us understand what is happening in the brain during various emotional interactions.  One part of the brain, the amygdala was called “fear central,” I suppose since that is the part that regulates emotions.  Another described how anger takes over during “amygdala hijacking.”  Just read an article in which a less than fully functioning amygdala led to poor impulse control.

The interesting point–there may be a link between a less developed amygdala and those who do not have two care givers in the home.  Love actually makes a difference in our neurological development!  I am sure this will not go well in some circles!  The problem–tests were done on small rodents called degus.    The article quotes the scientests,

Of course, the frontal cortex—where thinking and decision-making take place—is more complex in humans than it is in other animals. Thus, says Dr. Braun, it is important to be “really careful” about extrapolating the recent findings to human populations.

“The minute you get into stuff with extensive social and environmental components, the social differences between humans and animals are massive,” says Simon Chapple, a senior economist in the social policy division of the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development, the 30-country grouping of the world’s largest economies.

It remains an “open verdict” whether single parenthood causes these bad outcomes, or is merely associated with them, says Dr. Chapple.

But the bottom line

“The bottom line, says Dr. Braun, is that parents need to fuel their children’s brains with talk, touch and sensitive stimulation that involves give and take.”

Parents, she says, “are the sculptors of their children’s brains.”

The gift of tears

A few years ago, during a retreat, I began weeping when I shared a dream about my early family.  The ladies in the group thought it was great!  I am not so sure about that.  But, since then, there have been times when I have longed for the gift of tears, to pour out my  heart and my pain to God–but nothing came, unfortunately!  The mystics talk about the first stage of mysticism as being the purgative way.  This is when we realize our human failure and deficiency or see our sinful condition before God.  As Jerry Root says, “To define oneself before the holiness of God leads to repentance, confession and tears.”

Well, I have been reading Teresa of Avila’s The Interior Castle and in her section on the sixth mansion she writes about the times when the fire of God within her leads to tears that are soothing and gentle rather than stormy and rarely do any harm.  But then she writes:

Let us not fancy that if we cry a great deal we have done all that is needed–rather we must work hard and practse the virtures; that is the essential–leaving tears to fall when God sends them, without trying to force ourselves to shed them.  Then, if we do not take too much notice of them, they will leave the parched sould of our souls well watered, making it fertile in good frueit; for this is the water which falls from heaven.  However, we may tire ourselves in digging to reach it, we shall never get any water like this; indeed, we may often work and search until we are exhausted without finding as much as a pool, much less a springing well!

Therefore, . . . I think it best for us to place ourselves in the presence of God, contemplate His mercy and grandeur and our own vileness and leave Him to give us what He will, whether water or drought, for He knows what is good for us; thus we enjoy peace and the devil will have less chance to deceive us.  Sixth Mansion; Chapter VI:9

I find this helpful and freeing and hope it can help me be less frustrated when the tears do not come.

what to do with anger

Are emotions neutral?  If I believe that anger is a secondary emotion, hurt the primary emotion and hurt usually occurring because there is a loss of something, what do I do with my anger?  My tendency, historically, has been to stuff my emotions, which is not healthy.  Neither is it  appropriate (or healthy) to  express my emotions with disregard for others.  If I cannot control (as in determine whether or not they occur) my feelings, what do I do with them?

While we are taking a few days off, I asked my wife about this–in our relationship.  This may not work in all relationships.  She wife suggested that we need to evaluate how important the hurt is and if it is important then we should tell the other person, lest it eat us up inside and grow to something bigger–spread to bitterness.  Certainly, Mtt 18:15 would agree with this since we are to go to our brother if has sinned against us (Mtt 18:15).  Of course we are to forgive him (or her) for an unlimited number of offenses (490 times in Mtt 18:21-22) and forgive even if they have not asked for forgiveness.

But most things are not that important in and of themselves and can and should be overlooked.  Luke tells us that we are to pray for those who mistreat us (Luke 6:28).  We are to bear with one another’s burdens–look past their faults Col 3:13 and Eph 4:2  (see also Romans 12:10, 16) In Mk 11:25 as we pray, we are to forgive “if you hold anything against anyone”.  Okay, but how do I do this without being dishonest about feelings–ie stuffing them.  My wife said what she has been doing is to use the small hurts as an opportunity to pray for others.  So, when I fail to put the dishes away, she thanks the Lord that I am eating and that we have food.  When our children do not respond to us when we want to talk with them,  she expresses gratitude to the Lord that we even have children and prays for whatever might be bothering them.  You encounter a bad driver and pray for the stress they are undergoing that causes them to think they have to get somewhere so quickly! So, she is not denying the feelings of frustration or irritation but is using them as opportunities to practice the presence of the Lord moment by moment.

I will be working on this in the coming days and suspect that I will have many opportunities before I get home!