1. Personal Accountability Questions

On David Mays website this morning, looking for some books on member care and missions and found this article he had done on accountability. Reminds me of Wesley. Mays says, “I strongly urge every individual, and especially every Christian worker, to enter into a solemn accountability relationship with three or four individuals, or at least one individual, to sit down face-to-face, at least every two weeks, look one another directly in the eye, and ask and answer the hard questions.”

Mays provides lists of accountability questions that he has collected from various people. These are primarily for men although not exclusively. As Mays says, in your accountability group, “Be sure to include the questions you need!”

Lists of Personal Accountability Questions

The Questions President Bill Waldrop gave ACMC field staff:

· Have you inappropriately touched a woman since we last met?

· Have you viewed pornography in any form since we last met?

· Have you had a regular time of personal worship in so far as your travel schedule and need for rest has allowed?

· Have you had a regular intercession time in so far as your travel schedule and need for rest has allowed?

· Have you lied to me?

David Mays’ accountability group:

Since we last met,

· Have you had a consistent time of Bible reading and prayer?

· Have you viewed pornography in any form?

· Have you touched or looked at a woman inappropriately?

· Have you taken two full evenings off work?

· Is there anyone to whom you have been disrespectful?

· How has your countenance been?

· Did you invest the proper quality/quantity of time in your most important relationships?

· Did your life reflect verbal integrity?

· Have you been knowingly disobedient to the Lord in any way?

· Have you lied to me just now?

A colleague, ‘02

1. Am I investing time alone with God?

2. Is my thought life pure?

3. Am I always honest?

4. Am I giving more than I am receiving?

5. Am I quick to forgive and committed to love in all my relationships?

6. Am I using my “power’ for the glory of God alone?

7. Am I maintaining a healthy, balanced schedule?

Another colleague, Sept. ‘01

· Have you been with a woman since we last talked, in a way that might be seen as compromising?

· Have any of your financial dealings lacked integrity?

· Have you exposed yourself to any sexually explicit material?

· Have you spent adequate time in prayer and Bible Study? What is God teaching you?

· Have you given priority time to your family?

· Have you fulfilled the mandates of your calling?

· Have you made any progress dealing with the strongholds in your life?

· What have you done to reach out to the unsaved?

· Are you guarding your heart and mind in Christ Jesus?

· Have you just lied to me?

From Cultivating a Life for God, by Neil Cole

· How have you experienced God in your life this week?

· What is He teaching you?

· How are you responding to His prompting?

· Do you have a need to confess any sin?

· How did you do with your reading this week?

· Did you invest the proper quality/quantity of time in your most important relationships? Did your life reflect verbal integrity?

· Did you express a forgiving attitude toward others?

· Did you practice any undisciplined behavior?

· Were you honorable in your financial dealings?

· Were you sexually pure?

· Did you pray for your pre-Christian friends?

From The Purity Principle, Randy Alcorn, p. 87

· How are you doing with God?

· With your mate?

· Children?

· What temptations are you facing, and how are you dealing with them?

· How has your thought life been this week?

· Have you been spending regular time in the Word and prayer?

· Who have you been sharing the gospel with?

· Have you lied in any of your answers?

· How can we pray for you and help you?

From “Accountability: Pursuing Vital Relationships, Part Two – Play Ball!” by Jim Clayton, http://www.menofintegrity.org

Suggestions for Initial Areas of Accountability:

· Prayer life

· Bible reading/study time

· Integrity issues

· Spending time with the family

· Laziness

· Work issues

· Harboring anger or resentment

· Exercise, dieting

· Things shared previously

From www.menofintegrity.org


Sample Accountability Questions

Regardless of the accountability questions you choose, the last question should be “Have you been truthful about everything we have discussed?” There will be times when that question is necessary, and true accountability demands it.

· Have you spent time with God on a regular basis?

· Have you compromised your integrity in any way?

· Has your thought life been pure?

· Have you committed any sexual sin?

· How much time did you spend in prayer this week?

· Did you pray for the others in this group?

· Did you put yourself in an awkward situation with a woman?

· What one sin plagued your walk with God this week?

· Did you accomplish your spiritual goals this week?

· Are you giving to the Lord’s work financially?

· How have you demonstrated a servant’s heart?

· Do you treat your peers and coworkers as people loved by God?

· What significant thing did you do for your wife and/or family?

· What was your biggest disappointment? How did you decide to handle it?

· What was your biggest joy? Did you thank God?

· What do you see as your number one need for next week?

· Are you satisfied with the time you spent with the Lord this week?

· Did you take time to show compassion for others in need?

· Did you control your tongue?

· What did you do this week to enhance your relationship with your spouse and/or child(ren)?

· Did you pray and read God’s Word this week? What did you derive from this time?

· In what ways have you stepped out in faith since we last met?

· I what ways has God blessed you this week? And what disappointments consumed your thoughts this week?

· Did you look at a woman in the wrong way?

· How have you been tempted this week? How did you respond?

· How has your relationship with Christ been changing?

· Did you worship in church this week?

· Have you shared your faith this week? How?

· What are you wrestling with in your thought life?

· What have you done for someone else this week?

· Are the “visible” you and the “real” you consistent?

From Dave Mathes, November ‘04

When I see accountability teams, often

a) They don’t go far enough and

b) They address symptoms not the source.

I would add a few other things:

  • What did you wish for? Did you pray about it too?
  • Did jealousy or envy enter your conversation or thoughts?
  • Do you begin your day in prayer?
  • Do you pray continuously?
  • Do you encourage others especially those who are discouraged?
  • When did you rejoice?
  • Do you save pennies?
  • Does your penny jar weigh more than a book?
  • Have you supported a local charity?
  • Do you account to your spouse both personal and business finances?
  • What Bible verse did you memorize?
  • Did your driving set an example for others?
  • Do you brush and floss after every meal?
  • Do you exercise daily for 1 hour continuously?
  • Have you lied?
  1. February 17, 2010 at 6:50 pm

    This is a great article on accountability. thanks

  2. mymensgroup717
    April 27, 2016 at 8:30 am

    Creating a safe environment for accountability is definitely critical. That being said, it’s also important to make sure the questions asked get to heart level matters. Many times we’re asking the wrong questions and focusing on the “No” things instead of the “Yes” things. Guys have to feel safe and have a level of trust established in order to go to that level though. I see three main types of accountability. Cop accountability which is similar to what you describe here where the cop takes a “gotcha!” legalistic approach to the person being held accountability. There is also coach accountability where the coach tries to be very positive and encouraging and finally there is cardiac accountability where the person gets to heart level issues and matters with the person being held accountable. This gets at the underlying things that manifest with symptoms of acting out (porn, masturbation, affairs, etc.) The key with accountability is not just focusing on the symptoms which is how the person acted out (cop and coach) but to get to the underlying root issues or causes that were behind the acting out (cardiac). Check out some helpful men’s accountability group resources at: http://www.mymensgroup.net/accountability-resources.html which includes the excerpt that describes the three types of accountability that I mention above. It seems to me that most of the questions listed above focus on the “No” and are very much in the legalistic “cop accountability” realm. While there is a place for and value in copy and coach accountability there also needs to be cardiac level accountability happening as well.

    • April 27, 2016 at 10:41 am

      Wow, I really like your three categories–very nice to have these memorable labels. This is an old post and if I were to write it now, it would likely be very different. As you mention, the cop and coach categories of questions are much easier (although still challenging) to ask. In my experience, rare is the person who is willing to offer me the time to ask the cardiac questions. I think when I ask, I would use a progression from coaching to cardiac type of questions. Will check out your resources and share with others.

  1. February 25, 2008 at 7:56 am

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