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Emotional fusion or differentiation?

Biggest impact on me so far in my family development class has been our discussion on differentiation or the “capacity to hold onto yourself while still pursuing the relationship.”  As Christians, we tend to confuse oneness in marriage with emotional fusion.  In marriage, there should be a preservation of the person while a oneness being formed.

Our prof suggested that most of us are less differentiated than we think we are.  We will likely be as differentiated as was our family of origin and tend to marry someone of similar differentiation.

¨We crave that which we can’t attain, but we disrespect and resent that from which we can’t escape.” Dr. Dobson


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