Home > spiritual formation > A new identity arising out of grief

A new identity arising out of grief

More from my friend whose wife died recently.

As I mourned that loss, some fresh thoughts from the Lord worked their way into my mind:  ‘Part of the transformation you are undergoing passes through the loneliness of grief to grow toward a new identity where you, alone are OK.’  It was a realization that the grieving and the loneliness are lamposts along the way.  Lamposts in near darkness – easily missed, but necessary signs along the journey toward growth.

Romans 12:1-2 in the Message version of the Bible puts it this way:  “So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life – your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life – and place it before God as an offering.  Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him.  Don’t become so well adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without thinking.  Instead, fix your attention on God.  You’ll be changed from the inside out.  Readily recognize what he wants from you , and quickly respond to it.  Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.”

Placing my life before God – just as it is today, good and bad, weak, wounded and weary with all of the gaps and shortcomings.  Then I can embrace each step along the way as part of His plan to change me from the inside out.  There’s a new me coming through all of this.  One that will cherish the grace, beauty and love of 32 years together and being “We” together.  Yet a new “I” that will in its time emerge with the “well-formed maturity” that comes from God bringing out the best in me.

I can’t see it right now.  The steepness of the path, the dark places He’s leading me through, the rough, uneven, unstable ground make it hard to see even a step or two ahead.  It’s enough that He knows the path.  I’ll follow, holding His hand, knowing I’m not alone – there are so many of you on the journey too!

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