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Reflections on Psalm 139

December 3, 2009 Leave a comment Go to comments

Following are some thoughts on Psalm 139 as I reflected on it over a number of days.

Day 1 As I read Psalm 139, the question before me was, “Am I committed to respond and to obey His will?”  If so, then Psalm 139 becomes comforting, if NOT, it becomes threatening and I become afraid that my shame and guilt will be uncovered.  I am reminded of Jn 9:41, “If you were blind, you would not be guilty but you remain guilty because you think you can see.” Do I hate what God hates?  Am I praying with sincerity, Psalm 139:23-24? “ Search me, O God, and know my heart;  test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me,  and lead me in the way everlasting.” (NIV)

Day 2 After a struggle to calm myself and listen, I finally am able to read and receive.  Finally, the words begin to sink in past the busyness, stresses, anxieties, shame, guilt, sin, doubts and fears.  Like water filling the empty places between rocks in a jar or blocks of ice in a glass, so your knowledge and love and blessing warm my cold heart, calm my fears, still my anxiety, comfort my sadness, fill my longing, give courage in my fear, give confidence to my doubt, give wisdom to my foolishness, sight to my blindness, strength for my weariness and joy to my slothfulness.

You know my fears, anxieties, weaknesses, guilt, shame, doubts, pain, hurts, wounds, emotions that I keep suppressed, repressed, my areas of blindness, my denial, my lostness, my wanderings, helplessness, feelings of abandonment and rejection, my need for love.  You love me in my loneliness, accept me in my rejection, give me peace for my anxiety, provide light for my darkness, order to my chaos and construction in my brokenness.  YOU OVERWHELM ME!

Day 3 I get the impression that the Psalmist has tried to get away from God.  Tried to escape.  I wonder why he wanted to escape?  Why would he want to be hidden by the darkness?  Did he have something to hide?  Or is that me projecting my thoughts on the passage.  My thought life, all my actions, my words before they are spoken, my reactions—nothing to hide? Impossible to hide! What starts out as a terrifying thought becomes a comforting one.  Do I want to be known in this deepest sense?   Or do I prefer to have hidden areas of my life in which no one knows about?  Or at least I think they don’t .  The key we discovered yesterday from the Johari window is self-disclosure and feedback–the combination of the two reduces the hidden areas of our life.

Terror turns to relief.  I can never hide anything from you.  Heb 4:12-13—the Word pierces my thoughts and intentions.  It exposes my innermost thoughts and desires. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God.  Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes—he is the one to whom we are accountable. Jn 2:24 tells us Jesus didn’t trust himself to them because he knew their nature.  No one needed to tell him what humanity is really like.

Day 4

“Two things you told me–that you are strong and you love me.  Yes, you love me.”  “Your love is strong” by Jon Forman greatly encourages me this morning. Thank you Lord

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