Home > Ramblings > Member Care and Counseling:Lessons learned from Days 1 and 2

Member Care and Counseling:Lessons learned from Days 1 and 2

October 12, 2009 Leave a comment Go to comments

Attending a Counseling and Member Care workshop here in Chiang Mai sponsored by the Narramore Foundation.  Just went through my notes from our half day yesterday and today and here are some lessons that stand out for me.   This afternoon, we talked about our Taylor Johnson profile and I think there are some things that come out of that for me over the next 10+ days.  Statements/quotes are from various lectures, stories and comments:

  1. Member Care is the nervous system of an organization
  2. A suggested training model—to build community: Get to know Jesus as good as you can. Get to know yourself as well as you can. Get to know someone else who can help you do both.
  3. Leaders have higher responsibility and less support.
  4. Member care givers are bi-cultural brokers—bridging missionary and church cultures
  5. When you face what is unknown, dangerous, or uncomfortable, how does your faith help?
  6. Work out Rom 12:12  Be joyful in hope, Patient in Suffering, Persevering in Prayer
  7. What are our assumptions about human nature?
  8. The debate is not between bible and psychology but betw two competing theologies—do we  believe that general revelation is valuable
  9. God is creator and sustainer of all; He uses natural and supernatural events; uses a process and crisis events; is relational and feeling; is holy and just but also longsuffering and forgiving
  10. Member care is always a rear-guard action in missions
  11. Sin is much more complex than we make it; we tend to treat sin as superficial rather than seeing sin as “ingrained in the fabric of life”. We are both sinful and live with sinful people. We sin and are sinned against; both need to be dealt with.
  12. We find ways to cope and manage pain but these coping ways can cause more problems later.
  13. “Neurotic suffering is a substitute for real pain.” Jung
  14. All defense mechanisms deny, distort or avoid reality and yet the truth will set us free!
  15. Fear or shame underly defense mechanisms.
  16. The degree to which the environment is safe is the degree to which we release our defenses.
  17. We should be safe enough so that people will feel they are able to put their defenses down and we can have a dialogue
  18. Emotion is the language of relationship
  19. What more likely derails missionaries is not what they know but their emotional competence.
  20. “The only way out is through”
  21. Emotions help you survive. They provide us with information about what we need. Emotions give us feedback, in how we are doing and what we need to do.
  22. Emotions are not always to be acted upon but always need to be attended.
  23. The primary dynamic in abusive males is shame.
  24. Empathy—capacity to discern feelings is composed of: Knowing–attending; Feeling–attunement; Responding compassionately or responding
  25. It takes humility to receive care.
  26. Attachments are based on safety, security, availability, responsiveness.
  27. Rejection is the most fundamental emotion—often comes from fear of abandonment
  28. Sanctification comes in relationships of love over time
  29. Law of the farm—you can’t hurry up the harvest.
  30. Books to read: Addictive Organization by Schaef  to learn about how to bring support to leader; How do talk so kids will listen and how to listen so kids will talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
  31. Questions I need to answer: What behaviors did I/do I use to cope with fears? How did I deal with the pain? With whom do I share my insecurities and fears? Which defense strategies or coping mechanisms do I use to deal with pain?
Advertisements
  1. No comments yet.
  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: