Home > love, marriage > Marriage vs personal fulfillment

Marriage vs personal fulfillment

Here is a book that I think I will NOT read–it may be well-written and it likely has some compelling data but I am not sure that there is much new in the author’s conclusion.

Unlike some other nations, Americans, according to Andrew Cherlin, place a high value on both relationships and individualism.   Which is more important?  Writing about Cherlin’s new book, The Marriage-Go-Round, Ellen McCarthy says, “We revere the institution of marriage, but put personal fulfillment above almost all else.”

Even though 90% of Americans eventually marry, the divorce rate is around 50%.  McCarthy quotes Cherlin,

“We keep asking ourselves ‘Am I happy? Am I getting what I need?’ And if the answers one day come back negative, we’re more likely to leave a relationship,” explains Cherlin, who is on his second marriage.

Doesn’t make sense?  Read Paul’s words in Romans 1.

31 They refuse to understand, break their promises, are heartless, and have no mercy.32 They know God’s justice requires that those who do these things deserve to die, yet they do them anyway. Worse yet, they encourage others to do them, too.

The result–lots of lonely people out there.


  1. Charlie
    July 30, 2009 at 9:30 am

    Read a study not long ago (wish I remembered the web link) that concluded that Americans are among the most unhappy/unfulfilled people in all of the developing world. The main reason cited was our exceedingly high expectations of what life, our stuff, and the people around us should deliver. It never happens as we expect, hence, unhappiness. I tend to think that there is a good bit of the study that is true.

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