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Holiday Gift Guide

November 30, 2008 Leave a comment Go to comments

Ok, I confess, I am the one who likes to go shopping, not my wife.  So, this article by Dave Barry, “Why do we give gifts during the holiday season?” does not really fit our family.  But, Barry has some unusual suggestions for that one that has everything.  Enjoy.

There is, and it’s right here in your hands: the annual Holiday Gift Guide. This is a list of items that are so unusual that if you give one to your wife, her reaction will be: ”Thank God he did not get me any more.” And this effect is not limited to your wife: whomever you give a Holiday Gift Guide item to, that person will never want to exchange gifts with you again.

All of the items in the Gift Guide are real products that are being sold in exchange for actual money. We know this because we have purchased all of these items with what little money the newspaper industry has left. Then we subjected the items to our rigorous Quality Assurance Testing Laboratory Procedure, which consists of taking photographs of them without getting too close. This is why we are able to offer you this:

UNCONDITIONAL LIFETIME WARRANTY: If you purchase any of these gift items, and at any time during your lifetime you experience any kind of problem whatsoever with the item, simply place it in its original container and place it in a dumpster. We will take it from there.

But enough with the technicalities. Let’s move on to the 2008 Holiday Gift Guide:

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