Trying to figure out what Chesterton meant by the following:
“In the last resort the exaggeration of sex becomes sexlessness . . . Sex is the bait and not the hook; but in that last extreme of evil the man likes the hook and not the bait . . .”
A friend suggests the following:
- The bark is louder than the bite–we talk more and act less;
- When we do act, we are not sure what to do with it–like a dog running after a bus;
- Sex is really a false sense of intimacy, we want intimacy more than sex; we think it is the end but really it is a means to the end (intimacy)
- We are screwed and screwed up, that why Jesus came to save and sanctify us.
Reminds me of Rob Bell’s Sex God in which he links sex with spirituality saying we think sex is about this but it is really about that–that being God. Here is my post on that book.
I like the following quote from Gary Thomas’ Pure Pleasure which I just finished,
If I find my pleasure in Starbucks alone, I am at the mercy of a company that may go out of business. If I seek my pleasure in sex alone, I make myself vulnerable to a fading, aging body—as well as to the cooperation of a partner. If my pleasure is in a business, I remain subject to the whims of my consumers. But if my life has been a single journey always pointing me to find my fulfillment in God—urging me to see each earthly pleasure as a reflection of his kindness, goodness, and love—then my ultimate pleasure has become more certain than anything this world can offer.
So what do you think?
NOTE: Following is an update on a previous post.
Does holiness provide refuge or bring condemnation? Gary Thomas in The Beautiful Fight says, “A holy man or woman is a spiritual force, a “God oasis,” in a world that needs spiritually strong people.”
The world needs holy men and women because it needs people transformed by God.
Isaiah 32:2 says, “Each man will be like a shelter from the wind and a refuge from the storm, like streams in the desert and the shadow of a great rock in a thirsty land.” Thomas writes the following:
A holy man or woman is a spiritual force, a “God oasis,” in a world that needs spiritually strong people. When the winds of turmoil hit, such people become shelters; their faith provides a covering for all. By their words and actions, by the ways they listen and use their eyes to love instead of lust, to honor instead of hate, to build up instead of tear down, holy women and men are like streams of water in the desert, affirming what God values most. When the heat of temptation threatens to tear this world apart, godly men and women become like the shadow of a great rock. These God oases carry Christ to the hurting, to the ignorant, to those in need. They will be sought out–and they will have something to say. 48
From Gary Thomas, Pure Pleasure
I recently passed through a string of three significant injuries in three years—one a year—from training for marathons. My doctor said, “You know, Gary, you’re in your midforties now. Maybe it’s time to take up a different sport. Have you thought about riding bikes?” So I switched doctors.
In other words, while I ought to know what truly gives me pleasure, I also need to know my obligations and responsibilities. In certain seasons of life, a person’s personal desires must give way to the greater good of those around him.
While pleasures are important, they’re not paramount.
For many men, risk, excitement, and adventure is a necessary pleasure zone, which (like all others) needs to be managed or scheduled in.1 As a therapist, Dr. Weiss has a take that I lack. He counsels risk takers, “Remember that if risk is your primary soul pleasure zone, this is the well from which you drink. It’s as satisfying to your soul as any sensory experience you could have.”
Right now, if I am honest, I am not sure.
From Gary Thomas’ The Beautiful Fight
”Having faced the personal misery and relational pain of doing things my way, having experienced the futility of living life to be noticed, and having carried the heavy burden of making pleasure my idol, I’m far more willing to pay the price for transformation. I may as well embrace the pain that leads me to God instead of suffer the pain of being drawn away from him.
So I hope you’ll take these words as an encouragement. Pain in this world is a foregone conclusion. The only question is whether we choose to live a life of redemptive pain or of self-destructive pain. I pray you’ll choose redemptive pain.” 200
I am coming to the end of The Beautiful Fight by Gary Thomas and he has increased the challenge in these last chapters.
“Pain in this world is a foregone conclusion. The only question is whether we choose to live a life of redemptive pain or self-destructive pain.” 200
He is saying that there will be a cost if we move towards the transformed life in Christ. The only alternative is that we move away from God and Thomas warns that we will pay a cost for rebellious or disobedient choices. He writes,
“Having faced the personal misery and relational pain of doing things my own way, having experienced the futility of living life to be noticed, and having carried the heavy burden of making pleasure my idol, I’m far more willing to pay the price for transformation.” 200
Putting it another way, he says, “When I refuse to face the pain of transformation, eventually I must endure the misery of my immaturity.” 199
He explains what he means by paying the price:
“It means we need to start learning, listening, and surrendering. Don’t waste your physical ills; learn from them. What does it matter whether God causes them or merely permits them. . . . Don’t run from social frustration or relational confusion; be humbled in the midst of it. Learn how to love in the messiness of human relationships–confronting, forgiving, and asking to be forgiven. Don’t make a hassle-free life your primary pursuit; instead listen to God to discern how he is using these interruptions to cleanse your soul and purify your attitudes. ” 207
Thomas says that the process (and he really emphasizes that this is a process) of transformation requires a fear of God, the virtue of humility, surrender, perseverance and gratitude. He concludes his 14th chapter with these powerful words.
If I recognize that I am not like Christ, that I am proud where he is humble, that I am selfish where he is sacrificial, that I am greedy where he is giving, that I am lustful where he is pure, then mustn’t I be broken before I can be remade?
Of course I must. And so must you.
The breaking can be painful, even excruciating. It hurts to die to certain dreams and desires. It sometimes feels as though we’re being ripped apart when we let something go. But the pain is a good pain, the difficult journey is a good journey, and the Beautiful Fight is still a beautiful fight.
Since I struggle with lust as much as any other man, I expected that Gary Thomas would mention Job 31:1 (I made a covenant with my eyes not look lustfully at a girl.”) in his chapter on “Eyes That See.” However, what I was not prepared for was his point that it is having transformed eyesight does not mean an avoidance of evil, it means looking on all people the way God sees them. God wants to start with our eyes and end up with compassion in our hearts. Thomas writes,
“It’s not enough to see someone and refrain from hating him. It’s not sufficient to abstain from lust, prejudice, or disdain. . . The gospel of transformation calls me to progress from not lusting to having eyes that honor, respect, and generate compassion. God wants to transform my eyes from being selfish possessors and consumers to being his servants of selfless love.” 62-63
Thomas writes about the covenant of the eyes in Job 31:1
“Make a covenant with God, offering your eyes to be his servants, to notice the discouraged, to have compassion on the poor and hungry, to see what God wants you to see through his eyes. What you once saw as beautiful you may now see as hideous; what you once loathed may now be awe-inspiringly gorgeous.” 69
I guess the problem with my eyes is worse than I thought it was and yet there is also more hope than I thought possible.
The second major section of Gary Thomas’ The Beautiful Fight is called New Spirit, New Bodies and in it he discusses the transformation that God does in our eyes, mouth, ears, minds, hands and feet and hearts. I have now read “Eyes that See” and “Mouths that Speak.” If the “words” of email fit under the category of “mouths that speak,” it has not been a good week for me. And I read this chapter last week! Plus, my wife led a Bible study on 1 Thes 5:11 ff on how we are to encourage one another which is a passage that Thomas uses to show “particular uses of the tongue.”
What happened? It is ugly pride raising up its ugly head once again. I have been frustrated in my inability to stay on top of all that I am supposed to be doing. A couple of times this week, I noticed that I was angry and irritable–for no apparent reason. Well, late one day (already a danger signal), I responded to yet another email hoax someone sent me with a harsh, sharp and pride filled email that was sent publicly to all the members of the email group. Basically, I was saying, “how could you be so ignorant? Don’t waste my time.” I later apologized but the damage was done. Why do I keep reverting to this type of behavior?
Thomas writes, “Life changes when we live it in cooperation with God instead of just working for God.” 83 The level of frustration I have been experiencing in my position shows me that I have been doing more of the “working for God” rather than in “cooperation with God.” Thomas writes these powerful words, “Here’s the joy of the God-empowered life: we can cease expending energy trying to be impressive and instead rest in being used.” 85 Although it is not easy to admit that I have not been living a God-empowered life, the fruits are evident. God-empowered lives are not prideful lives because they know it is not about them and that very little of what they offer to people comes from them.
Listen to Thomas again, “It will help you more than you could know to realize how small (though necessary) a part of the process you really are–when indeed you are relying on God.” 84 I think what he is saying is that I still need to prepare, to pray, to listen, to do whatever but compared to what God does in any given situation my part is infinitesimal. Thomas says,
“Here’s the delightful spiritual irony: true biblical humility breeds confidence. Many people consider humility a sign of insecurity, but when we accept the Bible’s reality that God is already acting, already moving, and already directing the affairs of his world, we can rest in his capability, confident that he has made allowances for our own weaknesses, sin, limitations, and lack of gifting.” 85
This helps me to understand the cooperation involved in the God-empowered life and I think will lead to a lot less frustration and much more joy. I still regret that email I sent but I am grateful how God is using my failure to lead to what I hope is a greater level of transformation. To be continued . . .