Funny post by a site on hyperbole and grammar that I have now bookmarked. Language may bother some people.
I started my Christian life singing hymns, not that I am THAT OLD and so I am partial to hymns when they have been juiced up a bit. This afternoon, I have been listening to songs by Page CVXI that I had downloaded a while back–Come Thou Fount, My Jesus I love Thee, Solid Rock, Nothing But the Blood and Joy. I have always liked “Joy” that starts out with I’ve Got the Joy Joy Joy Down in my heart and finishes with a crescendo of joy triumphant from the 2:15 to 2:50 mark of the song.
But this afternoon, I have listened three times to Nothing But the Blood–wow, it is capturing my heart.
With much relief on my part, my mentor had to cancel our phone meeting this morning. Since I am a little more relaxed, I had a few minutes to blog. Enjoy your weekend watching this instuctional video on How to Properly Execute the High Five. Actually, it is called High Five Etiquette from the TylerStanton blog
“Just what do you think you are doing Dave?” From Kubrick’s 1968, 2001, A Space Odyssey. Ray Ortlund ties in the clip below with Romans 8:13 and I have added Galatians 5:16,17. Consider the fear involved when we put to death the deeds of the flesh
For if you live according to the flesh, you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. Romans 8:13 ESV
But I say, walk by the Spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of teh spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. Galatians 5:16,17 ESV
Here is the way you always wanted to define the following words. Again from the Washington Post.
1. coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs.
2. flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. abdicate, v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. esplanade, v. to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. willy-nilly, adj. impotent.
6. negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. lymph, v. to walk with a lisp.
8. gargoyle, n. olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. flatulence, n. emergency vehi cle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. balderdash, n. a rapidly receding hairline.
11. testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam.
12. rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. pokemon , n. a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
Happy Valentines Day. Enjoy the followng. Some serious but mostly not.
Gary Thomas states this as well as anyone in his book Sacred Marriage:
What if God didn’t design marriage to be “easier”? What if God had an end in mind that went beyond our happiness, our comfort, and our desire to be infatuated and happy as if the world were a perfect place?
Any situation that calls me to confront my selfishness has enormous spiritual value, and I slowly began to understand that the real purpose of marriage may not be happiness as much as it is holiness. Not that God has anything against happiness, or that happiness and holiness are by nature exclusive, but looking at marriage through the lens of holiness began to put it into an entirely new perspective for me.
Marriage Qualities you learn
On their 50th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration.
“Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?” an anonymous voice yelled from the back of the room.
Tom responded, “Well, I’ve learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, meekness, forbearance, self-restraint, forgiveness — and a great many other qualities you wouldn’t need if you stayed single.”
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn’t need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, “You’re next.” They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
The Frog and the Princess
The frog said to the princess, “I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss from you and I will turn back into a handsome prince and then we can marry, move into the castle with my mom, and you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel happy doing so.”
That night, the princess had frogs legs for dinner.
“The greater the struggle the more glorious the triumph” From the Butterfly Circus. Amazing short video. Well, it is about 20 minutes long so hopefully your internet speed is not too slow when you try to watch it.
If you are a Morgan Freeman fan and I am, you should check out this post! Creative!! Seems like prison inmate could be at the bottom.
Just completed a fascinating week of coaching training last week in Bangkok. So when a friend pointed me to the following video, I had to post it. I know, it’s not exactly the classic coaching model we learned but the idea of coming alongside to help a person be successful–that is at the essence of coaching I think. I did see tears in my wife’s eyes after she watched it so be forewarned!
Just watched this on Eric Johnson’s blog–song by David Rovics about a band of Irishmen and former slaves who joined Mexico in the 1846 war against the U.S. Movie shown here is One Man’s Hero. I confess that I am a bit stunned after watching this–no I didn’t cry but close. Not for the faint of heart.
Great story by one of my favorite story tellers of late here. If you go to minute 45 in the episode called tough room, you will hear Gladwell tell some tall tales about his early days at the New York Times. Good fun.
Although they call it “natural quiet,” I prefer the term natural music to describe recordings made in nature here, apart from any man-made sounds. Starting with butterfly wings and ending with the waves of the Atlantic, you will hear two minutes of each sound. For some, this might be tedious–I mean two minutes listening to butterfly wings! There is a link to a still picture where the recording was made and I wish they had a video along with the nature music but maybe that would have been a harsh intrusion into this beautiful and delicate symphony.
My favorite video short from 24-7prayer.com Explores Tribe, a prayer group that uses percussion instruments to pray and pray and play they do!!! Is it possible for prayer to be a drumbeat or prayer to be art? Here are some favorite lines. Enjoy!
“Whatever language you speak, whatever comes from your heart, that becomes a prayer.”
“Wouldn’t it make sense that the God who made rhythm would understand what’s in our hearts and how that came out in this language called rhythm.”
“Prayer is about being with God and whatever kind of communication as long as it is authentic, as its honest, its sincere, its vulnerable, then that’s prayer.”
How you connect is really not the issue, the issue is really connecting with God is.
If you haven’t heard “I will trust you” by Steven Curtis Chapman, you will likely be singing it in church before too long. I put it in the same class as “Blessed Be Your Name” by Matt Redman. Could not find the lyrics on the web and so I transcribed them this morning. In doing so, I find this song is even richer than I previous thought. If you don’t know the story out of which this song arose, here is one story. I have added a few pictures that seem to fit with the song.
I don’t even want to breathe right now. All I want to do is close my eyes. And I don’t want to open them again. Until I’m standing on the other side. I don’t even want to be right now. I don’t want to think another thought. And I don’t want to feel this pain I feel. Right now, pain is all I got. Feels like its all I got. But I know its not. Oh, I know You are all I got
And I will trust you, trust you, trust you trust you God I will. Even when I don’t understand. Even then I will say again. You are my God. And I will trust you
God I’m longing for the day to come. When this cloudy glass I’m looking through. Shattered in a million pieces. And finally I can just see you. God you know I believe its true. I will see you. But until the day I do.
I will trust you, trust you, trust you God I will. Even when I don’t understand. Even then I will say again. You are my God. And I trust you and with every breath I take. And For every day that breaks. I will trust you, I will trust you. And now that nothing makes sense. Even then I will say again. God I trust you, I trust you
I know your heart is good. I know your love is strong. I know your plans for me are much better than my own.
So, I will trust you, trust you, I trust you God again. And I will trust you, I will trust you I will. Even when I don’t understand. Even then I will say again
I will trust you, I will trust you I will. I know your heart is good, your love is strong, your plans for me are better than my own. I know your heart is good, I know your love is strong, I know your plans for me are much better than my own.
And I will trust you. You are my God. And I will trust you
I like dogs. I really do. I grew up with them. I would like to have a dog again some day. I have been to churches here in which dogs roam in and out at will. It’s not that I am not opposed to having dogs in church but . . . a church service where they are invited? Is there something wrong with this picture?
This really is happening at one California church. Thanks to Kruse Kronicle. Says the Pastor,
The concept is the entire family–2 footed and 4 footed. There is love, there is God in some form or fashion. And when we love a dog or a dog loves us, that’s a part of God and God is a part of that.
If passion moves you, watch the five short crazy wild videos on the 24-7 prayer movement. Thanks to missions catalyst e-magazine. Watched the first four of these already. You can go find info on their website and see the first video here.
Following are a few favorite quotes from the first short, Prayer as movement
In this short, you learn about the story of a prayer movement started by a missional prayer group in U.K. inspired by Moravians. They interviews a few people and asked them what words they would use to describe 24-7 prayer
- Subversive, foolish global
- Wild, passionate, radical
- Prayer, mission and justice
- Action, respect and responsibility
- Passion, fun, spirit
“It empowers people whoever they are, whatever circumstances young or old to step into the presence of God in a really fresh way.”
“It made me see how much God can use anyone.”
When I see things like this, I feel shame that I might be connected with them and anger at their ignorance! What foolishness. Thanks to Michael Hyatts blog.
Almost as bad as the sermon about why men should stand to pee!