How is trust built in your culture?

The question above was one of the topics we discussed in a training session last week.  Here is what we came up with in our different cultural groups.  Sorry, no time for translation just now.   Would love to have other contributions.  More questions to follow. 

Americans–Good communication. Build relationships. Transparency. Jobs well done/competency. Enduring “battles” together.  Experts (recognized or self identified). Proven abilities. Good communicators (able to market).

Brits–By introduction/recommendation or people your family have always dealt with. Tradition. Recommendation confirmed by experience.

Bikolanos– Trust is built to those who are in authority. The Elderly – who claim they know the in’s and out’s of life.

Canadians–Prove self.  No one totally. Rescue and relief people. Some trust in pastors, doctors.

Cebuanos  Pagdamay (Empathy). E.g. Provide, presence, attention, help when someone is in need. Dungog – Tests Integrity/Dignity, Reputation.

Germans Takes much time. No “pushing” allowed. “Silent” availability. Honest interest in other person must be felt. Interests/experiences/work together. Do something together (leisure time, coffee, meal). Feel acceptance as who you are.Trust in people who help you, people who are “real”, people who leave space, people who seem mature, not needy.

Ilokanos  Respect” is important. Pagmamano. Pagbibigay galang – po at opo, pasintabi. We easily trust family and relatives. Palabra de honor. Building trust starts with small things. Do not take advantage of others.We look up to teachers and elders.

Koreans  Friends, Alumni (Relationship). People from same school, same village and from same family. Mass communication.

Tagalogs  Filipinos are “mapagtiwala”. We have the “loob” virtues (utang na loob, magandang loob, mababang loob, mapagkaloob). Trust is being built through long period of time related/together – “PAKIKISAMA.”  “Galang/Magagalangin Element” – Education, Position, Influence.

moral goodness apart from God?

Found this sad promotion on a science blog.  Sorry, missing the link right now.  Needless to say, I disagree with Dr. Schweitzer!! He has captured the longing within all of us for something more (read transcendence) but he (and we) will never find that within us! Italics mine.

Dr. Jeff Schweitzer is a scientist who has written extensively on morality, religion, politics and science — and who served as science advisor to former President Bill Clinton and former Vice President Al Gore. Schweitzer will talk about how we each have within us the awesome power to create our own meaning in life, our own sense of purpose, our own destiny. He will address how happiness and fulfillment are derived from the freedom to discover within ourselves our inherent good, and then to act on that better instinct, not because of any mandate from above or in obedience to holy texts, but because we can. Admission is free and open to the public. Hardcover copies of Schweitzer’s book, Beyond Cosmic Dice: Moral Life in a Random World

Who reads dictionaries?

Surprisingly, there are a number of people who do so.  My wife is one as is Ammon Shea whose book, Reading the OED: one man, one year, 21,730 pages, I just finished. It is sort of a travelogue of Shea as he moves through the OED.  In writing about his experience, you will learn all sorts of interesting tidbits about dictionaries and Shea himself.  For each letter, he has selected words that he found interesting and (for most) provides his own definition.   A fun read and only 223 pages.

One of my favorites: Pandiculation: the act of stretching and extending the limbs, in tiredness or waking.

So now I have a word to describe that which is very common for me.  Now, what about the groans I make at the same time?

By the way, I bought an English-Tagalog dictionary to read through last week!

Simply because he loves you

Following is a paraphrase from Deut 7:6-8 (reading from New Living) for meditation

Simply, because he loves you . . .

you are a holy person

who belongs to YHWH your Elohim

Of all the people on the earth

YHWH your Elohim chose you

to be his special treasure.

You see, he lavished his love on you . . .

Gathering Stories

In his daily blog, John Fischer has been challenging Christians to become collectors of stories! It has resonated with me.  Read all his blogs or subscribe at his Fischtank. He writes,

Christians traditionally have not been very good story collectors. We have been so bent on getting a person to the desired conversion point that all questions are directed to that one end. Questions like: “Have you been washed in the blood?” or “Are you ready to meet Jesus?” or “Is there anything keeping you from praying to receive Christ right now?” are some common examples. In the process, I surmise we are not truly connecting to people, we’re connecting to freeing ourselves of guilt over falling short in our maximum witnessing program.

One of his readers wrote in about how she was making time each day to go out at lunch with her office mates and listen to their stories.

Well, witnessing may be the last thing on Kyra’s mind, but what is on her mind is far better. What’s on her mind is listening, caring and being a part of someone’s life. It’s connecting with people, and that’s a big improvement over “witnessing” any day.

Early in my missionary career, I learned that some people seemed to be overly concerned with “how many converts” we had, as if we could ever convert anyone!  I found these questions disturbing on a number of levels.  What pressure it puts on young missionaries in those early days when you are trying to survive learning a language and figuring out how to live well in a new culture.  It led me to become even more pre-occupied with an already unhealthy performance mind-set rather than enjoying my relationship with Christ and allowing it to overflow into conversations with people naturally.  And, I think that is not the question that we should be asking.  Back to John Fischer,

When Christians “witness,” in evangelical speak, they’re most likely not connecting, they’re doing a job—fulfilling a task, completing an assignment someone told them they had to do if they were going to be good Christians. So how does being set apart, unconnected, and carrying out an assignment on people sound like something Jesus would want? It isn’t.

I’ve done the EE thing, the door to door follow-ups from various big public events but I am convinced that these are easy compared to the much harder work of building relationships with people.  That takes time and an investment of myself that far surpasses going through a memorized  “gospel presentation.”   How I am grateful for the relationships and frienships that I have had over the years here.  Hopefully, because I have been a good friend, loved them and listened to them, all of them have moved closer to Christ.  Some have even become Christians.  More from Fischer,

Instead of “witnessing,” let’s connect. Let’s find out how beautiful people are—what makes them tick… what are their hopes and dreams… what are their fears? Get them to talk about their kids, their pets, their hobbies, their favorite movies… What we will find out is exactly what Kyra is finding out: we have more in common than we have differences.

So get ready to hit the rowdy road and meet all different kinds of people with stories to tell. Probe, don’t preach. Ask open-ended questions—questions that get them talking about their hopes and dreams and the journey they are on.

Have I been so busy with “my ministry” that I have not been hearing their stories?  That is something I can  work on.

Here are a few pictures with “stories” behind them.

Marriage vs personal fulfillment

Here is a book that I think I will NOT read–it may be well-written and it likely has some compelling data but I am not sure that there is much new in the author’s conclusion.

Unlike some other nations, Americans, according to Andrew Cherlin, place a high value on both relationships and individualism.   Which is more important?  Writing about Cherlin’s new book, The Marriage-Go-Round, Ellen McCarthy says, “We revere the institution of marriage, but put personal fulfillment above almost all else.”

Even though 90% of Americans eventually marry, the divorce rate is around 50%.  McCarthy quotes Cherlin,

“We keep asking ourselves ‘Am I happy? Am I getting what I need?’ And if the answers one day come back negative, we’re more likely to leave a relationship,” explains Cherlin, who is on his second marriage.

Doesn’t make sense?  Read Paul’s words in Romans 1.

31 They refuse to understand, break their promises, are heartless, and have no mercy.32 They know God’s justice requires that those who do these things deserve to die, yet they do them anyway. Worse yet, they encourage others to do them, too.

The result–lots of lonely people out there.

Life-giving way

Reading last week in Heb 10:19-25 (where i get post title) and Psalm 16.

Here is Heb 10 in wordle

and here is Psalm 16

Recent fun reads

In the last month, I read three books for fun and thought I might make a brief post about them.

First is Monster by Frank Peretti.  Was at a friends and she had it on her shelf.  Since I had not read anything by Peretti in a long time, I picked it up.  Not the spiritual warfare books like his first ones.  In this, there is a mystery to be solved around a supposed sasquatch type of beast that is killing campers.  A good read and a bit of a twist at the end.  Ends up being a bit of a polemic against evolution but not over the top.

Second is Speaker for the Dead by Orson Scott Card.  A friend is getting rid of a bunch of books and thought I would be intersted in this sci fi series.  She sent over four or five books but the one above is the second in one series.  I took a chance and I think I didn’t miss too much–quite a lengthy explanation from the author in my edition about the book and how it is a stand alone book altho does fit in with the others.  Anyway, the speaker for the dead is a person who lives far in the future and goes around and speaks on behalf of the dead after talking to family and friends–sort of a post-funeral meeting.  But when he speaks, he speaks about the person the way things really were–no embellishment, good and bad.  Actually, I like the idea!!!

Third book was Paul Revere’s Ride by David Hackett Fisher.  Insightful read and helped me understand the true story of the events of the early days of War for American Independence in 1775.  Paul Revere was quite a guy and was quite an organizer for which the U.S. owes quite a debt.  Debunks the solo rider idea as well.

Music from around the world

A couple of songs from playing for change.  Great fun!!

Another definition for spiritual formation

My dear wife sent me the following definition of spiritual formation from Ashland Seminary as part of their core values statement

Ashland Theological Seminary believes that Spiritual Formation is at the heart of all we do.  Spiritual Formation is the process of nurturing an intimate relationship with God, encompassing heart, soul, and mind.

Spiritual Formation is obedience to the Word of Christ and an intentional commitment to grow, study, pray, and be held accountable for our life and witness, both before God and one another.

on respect

From John Fischer’ blog The presence of the holy

“Respect… you give it, you get it; you don’t, you won’t.”

You may have heard it said that you need to earn respect in order to receive it. I suppose at some level respect is something earned, as in one’s area of expertise or one’s career. But in terms of personhood, there is a basic level of respect that everyone deserves regardless of one’s position or performance. It’s what everyone should receive freely from the beginning by nature of being made in the image of God. Otherwise, respect will be determined by nationality, race, religion, physical/mental attributes, or some other category made important by the group or designated point of view.

At its basic level, respect is a spiritual thing. It’s ultimately based on an understanding of who we all are in the eyes of God.

In his 2001 commencement address at Marquette University, the late Fred (Mister) Rogers said: “For a long time I wondered why I felt like bowing when people showed their appreciation for the work that I’ve been privileged to do. What I’ve come to understand is that we who bow are probably—whether we know it or not—acknowledging the presence of the eternal: we’re bowing to the eternal in our neighbor. You see, I believe that appreciation is a holy thing, that when we look for what’s best in the person we happen to be with at the moment, we’re doing what God does. So, in loving and appreciating our neighbor, we’re participating in something truly sacred.”

How much difference would it make in the way we treated people, if whenever we were in someone else’s presence, we were aware of being in the presence of the holy?

Today, make a decision to think more about giving respect than getting it.

Going down on a Saturday

Part of my reflections on Is 53:9-12 and Eph 4:7-14 during my lenten retreat

To spiral down on Black Saturday means to experience feebleness yet Jesus has gone ahead and He will lift me up

Down, down, down

Lack of appreciation

Lack of respect

Disrespect

Humiliation

Falsely accused

Humbled

Powerless

Misunderstood        carrying the burdens of others

Feared making mistakes            object of their scorn

No recognition        feel helpless        distrusted

No reward            irrelevant        rejected

Ignored                hindered/opposed        suffer to receive my beloved

Forgotten            bad guy        evil            rebuked/corrected

Marginalized        unpopular    scarred        isolated        no one caring    lonely

Jesus and disciples “imagined” in the Garden

In yesterday’s post on imagining Jesus in Luke 22 and Mtt 12, I inserted Wesley’s painting of the Prodigal Son but I did some searching on other Biblical art and found a number of artists depictions. None of them quite like I imagine the scene in Luke 22  since I was looking for the reaction of Jesus to the disciples asleep.  Of course, lots of people have paintings of the Garden scene.  Didn’t find much at all on the Mtt 12 passage.   Enjoy the following by Caravaggio,Tintoretto, Rembrandt and Raphael.

I am aware titling my post “Imagining Jesus” may have been a poor choice of words.  I certainly don’t believe we have the power to create Jesus according to our imagination and I am sure there are some out there who promote this sense of imagining. I was just trying to imagine what Jesus sounded and looked like in those two passages but trying to keep the post title short!  Maybe that is not useful to all but it is for me.