Are liberals or conservatives happier?

From a radio interview

and from a National review online article

Arthur C Brooks says in his book, Gross National Happiness

Conservatives are much more happier than liberals—56% over 23%

They are more optimistic, less likely to feel like a failure and in better mental health

Their religion and marriage create half of the happiness gap

52% of married religious conservatives were very happy compared to 22% for liberal unmarried seculars

World view is another major factor.Conservatives believe that with hard work, we can change our circumstances whereas liberals feel like they are more victims of circumstance.

Other interesting notes:

• Children make you happier? 6-7% better chance of being happier
• Money does not buy happiness.
• More than 5 in 10 of conservatives are happy compared to 2 in 10 of those without kids, religion and unmarried.

Do everything in the name of Jesus

My wife found this on John Piper’s blog about the following verses:

“Whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus.” (Colossians 3:17)

“The seventy-two returned with joy, saying, ‘Lord, even the demons are subject to us in your name!’” (Lk 10:17)

Piper wrote the following:

Do everything with a sense of dependence on the power and authority of the Lord Jesus. Do everything with a view to Jesus being honored in it. Do everything with a view to others being helped by Jesus in it.
Can Jesus be any more pervasive than this in our lives—that we do everything in his name?

Intimacy with God

Dr. Neil Thompson provided us a quote from Oswald Sanders in his monthly newsletter that I just read. Worth passing on.

“We cannot read the biographies or come within the orbit of great men and women of God, who so obviously enjoy intimacy with him without wistfully desiring to share such an experience. And yet, the soiled, hectic world in which we live is no friend to such aspirations. Time for the cultivation of intimate fellowship seems to be in perennially short supply. Or is it the intensity of desire that is lacking? We can usually manage to find time for what we really want to do.

“Both scripture and experience teach us that it is we, not God, who determine the degree of intimacy with him that we enjoy. We are at this moment as close to God as we really choose to be … Everything in our Christian life and service flows from our relationship with God. If we are not in vital fellowship with him, everything else will be out of focus …” (J. Oswald Sanders, Enjoying Intimacy with God, Discovery House Publishers, 2000, p. 9, 11)

My obedience brings him pleasure

I don’t know how I missed this but I did.  Perhaps my understanding came this morning out of my reading in Psalm 105, seeing that God “brought his people out of Egypt with joy, his chosen ones with rejoicing” v43 and in v45 the Psalmist wrote, “All this happened so they would follow his principles and his laws.”

“Maybe it came out of reading in Deut 7:6 that Israel was a “holy people who belong to the LORD your God. Of all the people on earth, the LORD your God has chosen you to be his own special treasure.” Moses goes on to say that they were not chosen to receive his lavish love because of their greatness.  “It was simply because the LORD loves you” 7:8  And then, in v11 a command to “obey all these commands, laws, and regulations.”

I know God does not love me any more or less because of my obedience.  I am not chosen because of my obedience.  I cannot earn his favor because of my obedience.  But, this morning, I am aware that my obedience brings him pleasure.  Maybe I understood this before but this morning it is like a new light has come.  Just as my children’s obedience brings me pleasure, so my obedience brings pleasure to my God.  Dare I say intense pleasure?  Why?  Lots of reasons!  He receives joy from my free will choice to obey him–an obedience that is energized and made possible by the superabundant grace of the Spirit.  He receives joy because my obedience to his will is the best thing possible for me and He likes that.  Somehow, my obedience brings Him glory and I think God has deep pleasure and contentment when He gains more glory–sort of like–that is the true nature of the way life and his creation should be–giving glory to him.

My obedience brings God pleasure–imagine that!!

Loving your prodigal

I need to update my prodigal list–a list of friends with prodigals in their life. And, yes, I need to be praying for them. Heard about another one over the weekend. It is painful and yes, it can be shameful and a source of guilt. But, my brothers, you are not alone. My wife found this story of one person who offers a plan on How to Love Your Prodigal. First, my favorite painting on the subject.

Listen to what Prodigal Jon says below and click on this for the entire article–actually part 1

You share your junk.

You tell your story. The good parts, the bad parts, the beautiful parts, the ugly parts. You fight the urge to simply multiply your good qualities as a parent and instead do the opposite. You confess your faults. You confess your own trash and share the grossness of your own life with your child.

That might feel like the opposite of what you should do. That might be exactly what a million books on parenting tell you. The only research I am pulling from is my own life and the lives of dozens of prodigals I know. But here is what happens when you share your junk in the middle of a prodigal story:

Listening to the voice of Jesus

I appreciate the following post by Michael over at Jesus Shaped Spirituality that he calls “Jesus talking” Here is an excerpt

On the other hand, for Michael right now, Jesus is close and his voice is the voice I recognize from years of coming to know Jesus. It is the voice that calls me to the Gospel, to the Trinity, to the church, and strangely for me, to freedom in my choices. It is the voice of God’s kindness. It is the voice that knows and reveals the Father; the voice of accepted tenderness, hurricane-like love and endless patience. It is a voice that gives me dignity, assurance and an invitation to go at my own speed. If it’s not Jesus, it’s doing a fine imitation.

It isn’t a voice that I can confidently say is my own. It’s too much like him, and it’s too full of his love, patience and purpose. It isn’t the voice of my religious training or my own desires. It’s the voice that woos and carries; the voice that the sheep recognize; the voice that calms and creates.

It is the voice of tender thunder. It is the voice that knows me inside out but knows a lot more than what is inside of me. It is the voice gentle discipline, loving truthfulness and unwavering love beyond judgement.

This reminds me of something Dallas Willard said in his book on Guidance.  He quotes Lily Tomlin who had asked, “Why is it that when we speak to God we are said to be praying but when God speaks to us we are said to be schizophrenic.” He says many church leaders do not like to encourage the idea that God speaks to the individual Christian. Why? He suggests that they “prefer that he speak only to them and not their flock.” 19

Risk taking

Enjoying the delicious writing of Luci Shaw’s The Crime of Living Cautiously this morning. Came via a friend with whom I shared The Shack. Bought four more copies of it yesterday and hoping our local Christian publisher can get the rights to reprint it here! Back to Shaw. She writes,

When God calls with unmistakable instructions about a course of action, the wise thing is to obey in faith, without hesitation. The risk of disobedience is too great when God wants to work through us. 33

I am not exactly sure what God is saying to me right now about risk but there are glimpses of a calling to continue sharing with others how God delights to work in broken and fallen people like myself. Quite honestly, it doesn’t make a lot of sense that we are doing what we are doing right now. But, I think it pleases God and if it brings Him pleasure and glory, then I am game! Will there be a future risky decision for us to make–I am sure of it but I am also confident that God will make it clear when that time comes before us. In the meantime, we are to live in the present moment with abandonment to his divine will. Shaw writing about Mtt 25 says, “Our risking in faith and obedience brings joy to our Master’s heart.” 41

I do need to mention that at the beginning of this second chapter of her book, Shaw warns that we must examine our motives when we sense an “urgent need to take a risk.” Risking to prove something to others or ourselves is not the the same thing as risk for the sake of the kingdom and glory of God. Enough said I hope.

Shaw talks about the past faithfulness of God as a spur to trust him in the future. “For some of us, an experience of acting on some risky decision that turned out to be a winner has fueled confidence for another forward leap.” 35 And she writes about the needed risk of faith when we don’t know where to turn, “Perhaps in the desperation of a seemingly dead-end situation, our only recourse is to batter against the door of our fear, disbelief and inability, discovering to our surprise that it opens with the golden key of the prayer of faith.”

Shaw quotes Irenaeus, “The glory of God is a person fully alive,” recalling for me another favorite, Eldridge’s Awakening the Dead. Her description of how far the Christian church is from this aliveness is cutting and brilliant and too long to quote just now! She then writes, “Living in the box may feel safer; it may also slide us into apathy and a kind of spiritual stupor. Lethargy of the soul is often the result; it is like living in a room whose windows are sealed shut so that no draft of the spirit-wind is allowed to enter.” 39

A final quote from her last section of just this second chapter seems a good reflection for the week ahead.

Because God loves us and wants to fulfill his ardent plans for us, he invites us to broaden our horizons. He longs to expose us to riches we never dreamed of, to realms we’ve only guessed at. There are barriers to be broken down. They fill us with apprehension at our profound inadequacy. But as we face our fears and trust his love, we can welcome the opportunities and dare the risks.

“. . . But if God is calling me into his service, I will be acting under his authority. My obedience to him makes him responsible for my destiny. 44

Forgiveness as the antidote to pain

Last week, we were looking at the dark side of leadership in a seminar I attended as well as examining our core sinfulness.  The idea was to come to a self-awareness and trust God to bring about redemption of our weak areas.  A helpful although painful exercise.  At the same time, I have been team teaching a seminary class with a friend.  He assigned me to handle two classes on emotional woundedness which we covered the last two weeks and this week will look at self-image.  I think the discussions were useful as we approached the topic from various perspectives.  I know in discussions like this, the Spirit often stirs up something that He wants to touch in a person’s life.   We primarily focused on self-awareness in the first two weeks and I realized in talking with the students that we need to give some significant time on forgiveness–the antidote for pain and the best solution for the healing of hurts.  In preparing for class, I have been re-reading The Art of Forgiveness by Lewis Smedes. His style of writing is very simple and I find he answers a lot of questions that most of us have.

One issue he raised that I wanted to bring up was the whole issue of emotions.  Smedes would say that we can only forgive a person and a person who has wounded us wrongfully or unfairly.  It appears that I don’t allow myself to feel the pain when I am wronged.  I remember how a counselor tried to get me to tear up magazines while thinking of my uncle who had abused me in an attempt to generate some level of emotion.  It worked a bit.  In any case, I think I need to give some attention to my suppression of emotional pain.  I think there must be a corresponding suppression of emotional joy etc.   Actually, I weaned myself off of an anti-depressant in the past two months in the hope that I would have a fuller range of emotions so this is something I have been thinking about.  Can’t say that I have noticed a great deal of difference.   A good topic to discuss with my spiritual director, perhaps a counselor.  However, I think God is going to have to open up this door.  Enough for now.

A lesson yet to be learned?

It has been almost a week since I have written any posts–I wish it was because I have been on vacation–NOT!  Last week I attended the first week (out of four) in our member development program.  The focus was on the Inner Life of the Leader.  It was a good week but did involve some deep reflecting which I do not always find easy–ok, I never find easy!!!  There were around 19 attendees with four presenters and for the most part, the approach used is one of dialogue education.  At the end of the week, we all presented our “timelines.”  I had done this back in 1996 but a lot has happened since then and so I managed to update my timeline until the present.  After I presented on Friday morning, there were a number of helpful questions and then one person in the group prayed for me, which I appreciated.

Later Friday night, we went out with a friend who had been in the group and were doing a bit of a debrief with her–she wanted our honest feedback and we gave it–hopefully in a loving way.  Well, it seemed fair enough for me to ask her about feedback from my timeline presentation.  She had asked me at the time if I ever wondered if it was enough, if life was unfair–if I had gone through more than enough of my share of crises, trauma etc.   After replying something about an opportunity to experience the sufficient grace of God, she asked another question.  “I wonder if God is trying to teach you something that you have not yet learned,” said our friend.  I didn’t react in anger although I did say that was a question that I try not to ask and don’t find particularly helpful to even ask.  A better question I suggested might be, “where do I see God at work in the situation?” “How am I experiencing God in the midst of the present circumstances?” etc.

I think those are the better questions to be asking but I won’t deny that I could be quite stubborn and hard headed and it is taking a lot of divine attention to move me to the place God wants me to be.  I truly am trying to be a better listener but old habits die hard!

So, Jesus really does understand me

Last week, I asked my students what made them angry. A number of them said injustice. For me, it was legalism and a lack of grace. In this post by Michael Spencer he points out how Jesus had a full experience with the frustrations of life and with the body of Christ. Sounds like Hebrews 2:17-18.  Jesus experienced

A family who thought he was crazy and tried to get him to quit the ministry. (Mark 3)

A small business, its customers and the stresses of making money.

Religious people.

Religious leaders willing to kill to protect their turf and their idea of God.

Religious leaders who misused the scriptures.

Religious leaders who hated you if you challenged them.

Religious leaders on the payroll of the politically powerful.

People caught up in a racist mentality.

People who thought politics was the way to solve everything.

People who thought a war was God’s way to bring about the Kingdom.

People without mercy.

For the entire post

Life practicum

In what I am sure purposely coincides with my team-teaching a class on missionary life and spirituality, I  have been experiencing the practicum called life.  Both the day of and the day after class last week, I was disturbed by my response to two completely different issues.  The first came after someone made a reference to “not wanting to be a mooch” as a missionary.   I think they thought they had offended me–not at all!  But, their words triggered something deep within me–a fear perhaps that I keep pushed down inside.

The second occurred when I spoke what I thought was the truth but not in a context of love.  As soon as I left the situation, I knew I was wrong and that I had hurt the other person.  Yes, I felt bad about that and knew I would need to apologize as soon as possible.   But, what I also discovered is that I dreaded my failure being known to my leader–I lived with a fear of the loss of his approval for almost an entire day until he told me that he was not made at me.  I think I expected, “How could you say such harsh and cruel things to someone like that?”  The other insight that came yesterday–I really don’t like it when I mess up and especially when I mess up in the same way over and over.  You see, I had mis-spoken in the same way about two months ago, my boss had to get involved and so this week I was living the same thing all over again.

To be honest, I beat myself up pretty good over the weekend.  Talking to my boss on Saturday night helped when I found he was not mad at me and it helped when I was able to apologize to the offended party.  But, I want to learn from this and I guess I can see some of my dark side oozing out here.  Disappointing but the grace of God is present and for that I am grateful.

Dark sides of leadership

Picked up and read Overcoming the Dark Side of Leadership this weekend after I I referred to it in class last week.  It is a 1997 book by Gary McIntosh and Samuel Rima in which they discuss how the pains of our past can create a “dark side” in us which will become self-destructive if we do not face it and deal with it. They identify five “dark sides” in leaders–Compulsive, Narcissistic, Paranoid, Codependent and Passive-Aggressive Leaders.   They help the reader identify which (if any) of these dark sides is a struggle through a 12 question quiz in a chapter dedicated to each of these dark side leaders.  Seems like I scored a lot lower in all of these than I did 10 years ago–that is the grace of God in giving self-awareness and grace to change.  Codependent was the highest for me with narcissistic following in second.  Surprised by my score on passive-aggressive–we need to talk about that Lord!

You might think that this book is a bit of a downer but not really.   The premise is that the dark sides of leaders is often what leads them to achieve as well as what can bring them down.  To quote,

“The dark side can spawn good or bad, joy or pain, potential or problems.  The negative aspect of the dark side rises when we use it selfishly to only fulfill our needs and wants.  We can use our dark side to serve God’s purposes in our life rather than only our unmet needs.”  81

Getting “more” comfortable with “older” age

I am fairly new to John Frye, over at Jesus the Radical Preacher. He has posted a number of poems and the following is one stanza in a poem, called Sweet with Age, about the beauty of the older years. So, no need to be too disappointed that 53 year-old Greg Norman fell short in trying to be the oldest ever to win a major at the British Open yesterday. Or, that I am a step slower getting to the tennis ball or it takes me most of Saturday to recover from a hard week or . . . “Porous to God and to others.” I like that.

A rice paper-thin veil separates these
time-seasoned ones
from eternity’s landscape.
They remember things and laugh,
and cry, but do not seem to regret their journeys.
In their wrinkled faces I still can see the life
that sparkled in their wedding pictures.
They call me “young man” and I like that.
They are sweet with age,
porous to God and others.
They are free from scrambling to make it
or to be somebody.
They are at ease with the uneasy sounds
of the final curtain falling
on this play called life.

They remind me that the dark
shadow of death valley
is cast by the great,
shining light of God’s love.

Rest for the weary and heavy laden?

Here is a tongue in cheek teaser on a post made by Michael Spencer at Jesus Shaped Spirituality in which he makes fun of how we often “limit” the offer of REST for the “weary and heavy laden” as given by Jesus in Mtt 11:28.

*Actual offer applies to Jesus only in a mysterious, spiritual sense. Application of offer is restricted in most actual churches to persons fulfilling additional requirements as determined appropriate by theologians and church leadership. Persons wishing to take advantage of said offer should contact their local Jesus franchise and fulfill specific requirements.

Offer does not pertain to the Lord’s Supper in many places due to additional theological complications in church history.

Definition of “Labor and heavy laden” varies in individual cases and may not include sexual sinners, adulterers, criminals and addicts. Those interested in this offer who continue to experience serious sin problems should see their local franchise to discuss what variations on the offer are available to sinners without a testimony of deliverance.

Failure to live in the rhythm of grace

I have been beating myself up over the last 24 hours over my failure to live according to the rhythm of grace. I was in a very difficult conversation with someone and they just were not getting what I was saying or at least i didn’t think they were! So, rather than back off and wait for another time when they were ready or for a time when my love for them was being communicated to them in a deep and safe way, I pushed on ahead. Well, I finally managed to get a reaction but in doing so, I hurt the other person deeply and in doing so, I feel like I betrayed my own calling. The Lord reminded me of a lesson from 1 Cor 13 that he tried to teach me a few months ago, “If I know all things about ________ but do not love ___________, I am nothing! Ouch.

Back to the comfort of Psalm 37 this morning and God’s stabiizing love and control.
I also found myself drawn back to Caussade’s Abandonment to Divine Providence.  He writes, “The divine will is a deep abyss of which the present moment is the entrance.”  I would rather be anywhere else right now, Lord but may I face this day with courage and a willingness to trust your sufficient grace.

Progress in our healing

Another interesting post from Henri Nouwen email newsletter. I hope he was saying that we need to be making progress in our own woundedness before we try to help others and NOT that we have to have it all figured out. For, if that were the case, none of us would ever get there.

Tending Our Own Wounds First

Our own experience with loneliness, depression, and fear can become a gift for others, especially when we have received good care. As long as our wounds are open and bleeding, we scare others away. But after someone has carefully tended to our wounds, they no longer frighten us or others.

When we experience the healing presence of another person, we can discover our own gifts of healing. Then our wounds allow us to enter into a deep solidarity with our wounded brothers and sisters.

Another one came in today

Listening With Our Wounds

To enter into solidarity with a suffering person does not mean that we have to talk with that person about our own suffering. Speaking about our own pain is seldom helpful for someone who is in pain. A wounded healer is someone who can listen to a person in pain without having to speak about his or her own wounds. When we have lived through a painful depression, we can listen with great attentiveness and love to a depressed friend without mentioning our experience. Mostly it is better not to direct a suffering person’s attention to ourselves. We have to trust that our own bandaged wounds will allow us to listen to others with our whole beings. That is healing.

Unwanted grace

Just received this prayer letter from another mish friend who has cancer.

John and I have watched the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy again in recent weeks. One scene had special meaning to us. Frodo tells Gandalf, “I wish the ring had never come to me; I wish none of this had happened.” Gandalf replies, “So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide; all we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.” We are experiencing abundant “unwanted grace” in the midst of our circumstances! By the term “unwanted grace,” (thanks to our friend and coach Bill Lawrence), we mean the grace God gives as part of His call.

Well, I looked up and found a sermon by this title by Dr. William Lawrence on Jonah 1:1-3. Thanks to Lynn for sharing this with us during her battle with cancer. For the complete sermon outline

Unwanted grace is God’s unrelenting call for us

· to take greater risk than we ever imagined

· to face stronger forces than we ever dreamed

· to fight bigger battles than we ever thought possible

· and nearly all of this is in ourselves!

We must face the greatest enemy of all: ourselves.

Why does God bring unwanted grace in our lives?

Because of what unwanted grace always means in our lives.

Unwanted grace always means death:

· the death of pride

· the death of self-confidence

· the death of self-reliance

· the death of false hope

Unwanted grace: the opportunity to become more than we ever dreamed we could become by becoming less than we ever thought we could.

Conclusion

Unwanted grace always brings us to one simple choice: the choice to be Jonah or Jesus.

All of us can be Jonah; there’s nothing hard about running away from what we don’t want. Unwanted grace always leads us to where Jesus went.

Nevertheless, not my will, but yours.

Unwanted grace always leads us to the cross—the decision to take up the cross, to follow Jesus to the grace we need to trust God for resurrection so we can become the men and women God wants us to be. If we resist this we will remain small, caught up in our self-centered and unresponsive hearts, thinking we have a corner on salvation, given over to pleasure and selfish ambition and a life-style of comfort and ease. We will be Jonahs: brittle, demanding, angry, self-centered, and unresponsive. But if we respond to God we will discover what unwanted grace really is:

Unwanted grace: the opportunity to become more than we ever dreamed we could become by becoming less than we ever thought we could.

On forgiveness from “The Shack”

In this quote, Papa (God the Father) is talking to Mack about the need for forgiveness. He is talking about the specific forgiveness of the one who brought pain and tragedy in to Mack’s life. From p. 225

” I don’t think I can do this,” Mack answered softly.

“I want you to. Forgiveness is first for you, the forgiver,” answered Papa, “to release you from something that will eat you alive; that will destroy your joy and your ability to love fully and openly. Do you think this man cares about the pain and torment that you have gone through? If anything, he feed on that knowledge. Don’t you want to cut that off? And in doing so, you’ll release him from a burden that he carries whether he knows it or not–acknowledges it or not. When you choose to forgive another, you love him well.”

“Not today, you don’t. But I do, Mack, not for what he’s become but for the broken child that has been twisted by his pain. I want to help you take on that nature that finds more power in love and forgiveness than hate.”

The deception of lust

After writing about Rob Bell’s Sex God, an intrigued friend borrowed my copy before I had even finished it.  I was able to get it back yesterday, went home early and finished it in just a few hours.  My friend (single female), thought the last chapter, “Whoopee Forever,” had some of the best words on singleness that she had read.  They are good (and I will post about what Bell wrote) but not just yet.

Surprise, surprise, what got me going was Bell’s chapter on lust, “Leather, Whips and Fruit.”  He started the chapter discussing the rape of Tamar in 2 Sam 13, first time I have read anybody tackling that passage.  And specifically, he deals with those deeply provoking verses that talk about how, following the rape, “He (Ammon) hated her (Tamar) more than he had loved her.”  In looking at the chapter, I can tell, this is going to need two posts.  What does Bell say about lust?

Lust can drive us to do frightening things.  It can own us, it can take up massive amounts of head space, and it can make us miserable.

And once in a while, lust may even have something to do with sex. 69

Bell has a fascinating discussion on our attraction to the sensual–to that which stimulates our senses and how this is a God-created, God-designed part of our image.  The problem–when we follow that which our senses tell us “will provide a better reality than the one God has made.”  Bell writes, “Lust promises what it can’t deliver.” 72  And  . . .

Lust comes from a deep lack of satisfaction with life.  this is why we have to slow down and reflect on our lives before we’ll ever begin to sort our the significance of this.  Lust often starts with a thought somewhere in our head or heart: “If I had that/him/her/it, then I’d be . . .”   73

Bell, then makes a connection to the importance of gratitude.  Indeed when you look at the problem of Israel, their lack of gratitude and forgetfulness is what began their slide away from God.  I don’t remember if Bells says this but might we be able to say that a grateful heart acts as a prevention against lust?

Bell challenges us to uncover the lies upon which lust is built.

Lust is always built on a lie.  And so for you and me to be free from lust; we have to begin by understanding the lie and where it comes from and why it can be so alluring.  75

More on this to follow.  Reactions anyone?

Wandering in prayer . . .

From a post on Distraction and Prayer by John Eldridge–his blog might be worth checking out. I am going to try what he says here. My problem–I don’t even notice that I have been distracted!

Years ago I was sitting under a man’s teaching in my church. He was teaching about prayer. And of all the things he said, the one thing that’s helped me most was this one thought: When you realize you are distracted, don’t just plow ahead. Stop, go back, and pick up again with the prayer at the last point in which you were engaged. Sort of like wandering in the woods; don’t just keep going. Stop, back up, retrace your steps, go back and pick up the trail where you last left it, and then carry on.