Our Goal Should Be Generous Giving

In To Give or Not to Give, John Rowell discusses the perceived problem of dependency that is created when missionaries give to those in need.  He says that 2 Cor 9:8-11 “states best God’s goal for us to give liberally.”  Here are a few more quotes on this and other similar passages.

• “The expectation conveyed by these verses tells us that Christians are intended by God to live as generous stewards of kingdom resources. Those concerned about dependency embrace this principle in principle willingly enough, but I believe their arguments discourage giving liberally in practice.” 52
• “Does it not make sense that a model of generosity based on obedience to biblical truths will teach a better stewardship lesson to new believers than a miserly message of frugality based on presumably legitimate missiological principles? The Scriptures clearly and consistently require responsive giving”

Divine Love casting out my fear

Last week, I naively took off for a 24 hour silent retreat at a retreat center.  What was I thinking?  Did I expect that I could spend a day alone with God and come away unchanged? It just does not work that way does it?  Not that I am complaining or am disappointed.

I am not sure that I ever truly settled down and enjoyed being still, alone and quiet.  I think the ability to maintain an inner silence even when there is an external silence along with solitude flows out of a regular discipline and practice and I have definitely been out of practice.  I was continually fighting a desire to be “doing” something besides listening.

But, the Lord was kind and revealed glimpses of grace.  I met with someone at the retreat center and it was suggested I read Isaiah 43:1-8  I got as far as verse 1!  “Fear not. I have redeemed you.  I have called you by your name.  You are mine.”  I knew that I had felt an unsettledness headed into the retreat but I didn’t think it had anything to do with fear.  Guess I was wrong.

During the retreat, I “happened” to bring along David Benner’s Surrender to Love. Benner is saying that Christian transformation is only possible as we surrender to God’s love.  But, he is also saying that our fear will keep us from receiving and giving love–from God and from others.  And yet when we surrender surrender our fears to his love, changes begin.  Do you sense a pattern going on here?  Benner writes,

“How terrifying it is to face my naked and needy self–the self that longs for love and knows it can do nothing to manipulate the universe into providing the only kind of love I really need.  The crux of the problem is that i cannot feel the love of God because I dare not accept it unconditionally.  To know that I am loved, I must accept the frightening helplessness and vulnerability that is my true state.  This is always terrifying.” 78

Part of facing this naked and needy self is identifying those fears that prevent us from receiving love and the fears that need healing by his love.  What did the Lord help me to see?  I fear failure and seek to avoid it by compulsive over-achievement.  I fear intimacy and attempt to minimize this fear by keeping people at a distance, neglecting certain relationships, holding back on my emotions etc.  I fear losing control and I avoid this by trying to do everything by myself.  I fear being alone and neglected and counter this by showing off, being funny, doing stupid or controversial things (hmmmmm).  I fear insignificance and loss of respect and so may refrain from speaking up when I am not sure or am just silent, do not attempt something new and/or delay activity.

Fortunately, along with these insights, there was the more than compelling words of Is 43:1 into which I was able to insert my various fears and bring them to God.  Fear not failure, for I have redeemed you, I have called you by your name.  You are mine.  I think you get it.  Fortunately, this is a process and God has been at work and continues to relentlessly pursue me with his love.  Some days I get it more than others.  Benner says that when God says “Fear not” he is issuing us an invitation rather than rebuking us with a command.  “God understands our tendency to fear.  And in gentleness he invites us to let him rid us of our fears and heal us by his love.” 47

Ok, a final Benner quote,

“Transformation occurs when we bring all parts of ourselves into the banquet of love provided by our divine host. Our fearful, angry and wounded selves can never be healed unless they are exposed to divine love.” 82

“For love to transform us, not only must we meet in vulnerability, we must also linger long enough in it for it to penetrate our woundedness.”  83

selah

The problem of good works for atheism

Once again, Mary Eberstadt in her third Loser Letter, writes with keen wit about “The Trouble with Good Works”, for atheism that is.  She writes,

By Regarding the issue of “who does more good for humanity,” I cannot stress enough something that some of You are just refusing to get: We Atheists are much better off emphasizing what the other Side has done wrong than anything we Brights have done right.

She mentions scandals, corruption and hypocrisy among both Catholics and Protestants and concludes,

“we atheists can undermine lots of believers, simply by emphasizing how badly a few of them have behaved.

“But we Brights don’t need to, and in fact shouldn’t ever, take the unnecessary further step of crediting our own Side with good behavior.

Why? “because the actual evidence for claiming that atheism will do as much good in the world as Christianity and other religions is embarrassingly against us. As in, way.”

What is she worried about?

“It’s the Fact that the religious people in the West, generally speaking, take better care of the sick and weak than do secularists and atheists, and they know it.“

“Hospitals, soup kitchens, social services, charitable networks; missions, prison ministries, orphanages, clinics, and all those other institutions embodying the distasteful fixation of the believers on the Weak — now how can we atheists possibly compete with all that?”

Check out her full article.

Dads, you will never regret the time spent with your kids!

Comforting to know that research indicates that we Dads are still needed in America (and around the world)! I don’t know any message I would give to younger fathers more than this one: “Spend time with your kids. You will never regret it.” Men, you will never regret more time spent with your kids!!! Why does it seem like each generation keeps needing to learn this the hard way? Did people tell me or warn me? In my experience child rearing is one of those areas in which few of us welcome the input from others until it is too late.

Katherine Kersten did a post recently about Disappearing Dads… Why fathers are so vital She refers to Kyle Pruett’s book Fatherneed in which he says, “Children with involved fathers have lower rates of juvenile delinquency, substance abuse and early sexual activity.”

Surprise, surprise, discipline from dad looks different than from mom!

“Moms tend to discipline by stressing the “relational and social costs” of bad behavior, . . . Dads, on the other hand, tend to focus on the “mechanical or societal consequences” of misbehavior.”

And we dads (generally), play differently with our children than do moms.

“Mothers’ play is more toy-centered and instructional, fathers encourage exploration and novelty-seeking. Dads love to wrestle and roughhouse. . . . Fathers tend to encourage kids to master tasks on their own, while mothers are more likely to help a fretting child sooner. . .

“When mothers see their young ones scrambling up a jungle gym, they tend to call out, “Be careful!” . . . Dad’s challenge is likely to be different: “Can you make it to the top?”

It is hard to believe that the message, ‘Your kids need you,” is one that many dads haven’t heard but that is what the National Fatherhood organization is saying. Perhaps because so many of us didn’t do it “right” as dads, is that why we so look forward to the second chance as grandfather? Check out Kersten’s full article.

Leadership lessons from Meriwether Lewis

Just finished reading Undaunted Courage by Stephen Ambrose, a fascinating read and one that goes fairly quickly, even at 484 pages! In the Aftermath, Ambrose reflects on Lewis’ life. Like all of us, he was not perfect–he made mistakes and his life ended tragically. But, here are a few of the positive leadership lessons I picked out of Ambrose’s summary on Lewis. 481-483

He was a good man in crisis.

His intense curiosity about everything new he saw around him was infectious.

He was a man of high energy and was at times impetuous, but this was tempered by his great self-discipline.

How he led is no mystery. His techniques are time-honored. He knew his men. He saw to it that they had dry socks, enough food, sufficient clothing. He pushed them to but never beyond the breaking point. He got out of them more than they knew they had to give. His concern for them was that of a father for his son. He was the head of a family.

He didn’t make many mistakes. His orders were clear, concise, and correct.

He shared the work. He cooked for the men, and poled a canoe.

He had a sense, a feel, for how his family was doing. He knew exactly when to take a break, when to issue a gill, when to push for more, when to encourage, when to inspire, when to tell a joke, when to be tough.

He knew how to keep a distance between himself and the men, and just how big it should be. He knew his profession and was proud of it and one of the very best at it.

Happiness is not the essence of marriage

Someone told me not too long ago that he didn’t expect the difficulties he had encountered in marriage. Join the crowd, my friend! Marriage is the hardest thing I have ever done–to make it work requires more energy and time than anything else I can imagine. Maybe the problem of my friend (and I suspect for all of us who are married) is that he thought marriage would bring him happiness.

My wife (who is sometimes happy with me) pointed me to a post by Travis McSherley, “Til Happy Do We part”

He identifies where many marriages have gone wrong in their pursuit of happiness and distinguishes between happiness and joy. McSherley says that love may produce happiness but “happiness is not the essence of love. Nor can it be the essence of marriage.” He observes that many marriages fall apart when “one or both spouses have clung unrelentingly to a thought process that goes something like: “I want to be happy. I need to be happy. I deserve to be happy.”

May I never be satisfied with just happiness–I want to hold out for JOY!

Update: here is another post on how our focus on happiness has affected the church. A quote: “But the point of American society today, in many ways, is for each of us to achieve great happiness. Perhaps that’s what we use to judge whether or not our lives are successful—how happy we’ve been.”

Cost of Ministry

A few months ago, a friend of mine read a quote out of John Goldingay’s little (159 pages) book, God’s Prophet, God’s Servant. He gives some pithy reflections on Jeremiah and Isaiah.  Finally read his first chapter this morning on “What being a prophet costs”, using the example of Jeremiah.  As a missionary, I need to hear these words!! According to Goldingay, if we are to be in ministry, we must be willing

1. To stand alone

We should be “. . . willing to stand alone, to cope with isolation, opposition, betrayal, and attack, even from those who ought to be most loyal to him.” 18

See Jeremiah 11:1-12:6; Mark 6:4

2. To have no private life

“He had no freedom to make his own decisions about how he lived his life; indeed he was forbidden the life of a normal human being.” 22

See Jer 12:6; 16:2-9

3. To be as hard as a rock outside even while you are being torn apart inside

“Jeremiah here appears as a man who can be hard as a rock when he is under huge pressure to change his stance and modify his message.” 24

See Jer 19:14b-20:18

Jeremiah’s experience in ministry is an experience of crucifixion, says Goldingay:

“Indeed, arguably, it is at these moments of crucifixion that Christian ministry is at its most authentic, its most distinctive.  For that was how it was with Jesus, and that is how it is with the person who follows Jesus.” 30

Goldingay ends his chapter referring to 2 Cor 4:11( Jeremiah, he says, is the 2 Cor of the OT) and concludes,

“There is a cost involved in being a prophet, in being a servant of God.  There is a cross involved.  We do not have to hide from this fact with glib talk about life being a challenge.  Because God promises that as we carry the cross, we can also reveal his glory. ” 30

I wonder why we neglect to mention the cost of ministry in our desire to get more workers out to the field?

“Anatomy of evil” and “one sure thing”

I read the following two verses earlier in the week and I have not created the time to make a post about them.  But, time for a brief reflection now.

Psalm 28:3 anatomy of evil–they speak peace with their neighbor while evil is in their heart (malice in one translation).  Great Psalm about requesting MERCY from God against the evil that we encounter in the world.  But when I read verse three, I realize that if I speak nice words to people when face to face and yet behind their backs, speak ill of them or even think ill of them, am I not like one of the evil in this Psalm.  There are a few people that are borderline for me on this one.

in Psalm 46–the one sure thing “Be still and know that I am God, I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth”  After visiting a friend this week who suddenly came down with cancer–one moment nothing and two months later he is in the midst of chemo!  And then, a conversation with a friend in which I heard about yet another very respected Christian leader who was discovered having an affair. I had met him and his wife and they seemed so, so mature and above reproach that I would never have thought.   Funny how these thoughts came after reading Psalm 46– I think I was comforted by there being one sure thing in life when everything around me seems to collapse so easily.

Personal retreat day

After nine months back on the field, I am finally taking a personal retreat day–long overdue.  I decided to go to a retreat center since there are just too many distractions at home.  I hope they practice silence and solitude–that is what I need–anyway, I have earplugs!  Just twenty-four hours.  Hoping to meet with a spiritual director too–do lots of listening and some writing.

Is self-esteem more important than self-control?

My wife pointed me to this article in the Houston Chronicle in which Ashley Herzog writes a damaging critique of the self-esteem movement. Here is a summary from “The flaws of the self-esteem fad” by Ashley Herzog

Herzog says the self-esteem movement proclaims to

• make the kids feel important
• emphasize their good qualities
• refrain from criticizing children too much
• encourage kids to feel good about themselves for no particular reason
• “We want to anchor self-esteem firmly to the child so no matter what the performance might be, the self-esteem remains high,”

As Herzog points out, the goal of making children smarter and more productive using a focus on building self-esteem “has never been proved to work.” She provides an interesting example.

“Starting in the mid-1990s, a team led by psychologist Carol Dweck did a series of experiments on fifth-graders, who were divided into two groups. In the first group, students were praised for their intelligence — an innate trait unrelated to performance. In the second group, students were praised for their effort and good behavior. The children in the second group performed better and were more likely to attempt difficult tasks — probably because their teachers had encouraged them to work hard, rather than constantly telling them how brilliant they were.”

What has the self-esteem movement accomplished? According to Herzog

• Americans “are unprepared to compete in the global economy.”
• “our teens don’t let their ignorance bother them.”
• “get good grades no matter what”
• “Grade inflation in order to avoid bruised egos.”
• “While the self-esteem movement hasn’t made children any smarter, it has made them more self-centered, demanding and hostile to criticism.”
• they think they “deserve recognition and attention from others”
• they think it is “acceptable and desirable to be preoccupied with oneself and praise oneself.”

She warns, “Self-esteem isn’t linked to academic achievement or good behavior. Nor does it protect against teen pregnancy, juvenile delinquency, alcoholism, drug abuse or chronic welfare dependency.” Instead, she suggests that educators should focus on “teaching the time-tested values of self-respect and self-control.”

Herzog, a resident of The Woodlands, is a journalism major at Ohio University in Athens, Ohio.

Reason and logic a problem for atheism

In her second Loser Letters, Mary Eberstadt, in good old “Screwtape Letter” fashion, explains to her atheist friends why logic and reason pose a problem for the atheistic worldview.

Highlights from her article:

Writing about the very idea of believing in God,

For either one produces a satisfying reason for why, say, 99.99999999 percent of humanity has been wrong on that big issue while You have been right; or, failing that, one simply comes right out and says that the entire rest of the Species up to Oneself was stupid as a bag of rocks till the day before yesterday — a stance which does run the risk, or so I used to think, of looking just a teensy bit arrogant.

On God being a human invention:

So You see, this very scariness of this Judeo-Christian god is seriously bad for Us — or at least bad for the atheist claim that he was invented by people to make them feel better. Because if the human purpose that keeps calling the Loser into existence is some deep search for comfort — if he is just supposed to be some big cosmic Prozac, or a blankie in the sky — I have to tell you this god is seriously not cutting it for me, and not just for me but for a lot of other people as well.

Check out her full article

Bible is neither conservative or liberal

Interesting interaction of Jim Wallis with David Klinghoeffer on Biblical values and our society. Here’s a good quote from Wallis from that article.  Best to read the entire article.

I would suggest that the Bible is neither “conservative” nor “liberal” as we understand those terms in a political context today. I have written about what I call “prophetic” politics that leads to a fourth option — neither liberal, conservative, or libertarian. It is traditional or conservative on issues of family values, sexual integrity, and personal responsibility, while being progressive, populist, or even radical on issues like poverty and racial justice. It affirms good stewardship of the earth and its resources, supports gender equality, and is more internationally minded than nationalist — looking first to peacemaking and conflict resolution when it comes to foreign policy questions, instead of bowing to the habit of war.

What does not lead to spirituality #1

Katherine Kerstin wrote about Albert Hoffman who discovered LSD back in 1943, who recently died at the age of 102. LSD was initially thought to be a window to the soul (and as a truth serum for interrogation, treatment for depression etc.) Read her article for more. But what stuck me were her concluding comments:

As with all attempts to imitate the Sacred, however, this one fell short. Most of LSD’s adherents soon realized that the drug-induced explosion of color and euphoria—or its alternative vision of unspeakable darkness—was just a distraction from the real “medicine for the soul.” That comes from genuine spirituality, and from family, friends, mutual obligations, and other sweetnesses of ordinary life.

What exactly is spirituality is a question that is worth considering?

On goodness

I wanted to post on something that bothered me earlier in the week out of Psalm 84:11, “No good thing will the LORD withhold from those who do what is right.” It is not the first part of the verse that I have a problem with–I know every goodness that comes to me is a gift from my Father in heaven. Psalm 103:2 reminds me to never forget all the good things he does for me and in verse 5, the Psalmist says, “He fills my life with good things.” In fact, I am overwhelmed with all the glimpses of goodness that God has enabled me to experience–I could never say thank you enough. But, I also am very aware that all this goodness comes as a gift–not as something I have done or earned. Only God is good said Jesus to the rich young ruler and I say yes! Only through God is goodness revealed–the way things ought to be, something like the shalom of the OT. On the other hand, I do want to do what is right, I do want to obey but my obedience is not even remotely close to the goodness I receive. Back again to this divine-human cooperation. We work it out says Paul but it is God who is at work in us, giving us the desire and ability. He wants me active and involved but compared to what God does, my activity is really not needed. But he wants it anyway. That is the message I picked up from The Beautiful Fight and it continues to wiggle it way down to my heart, hands and toes!

Intensely alive

I am about halfway through “Undaunted Courage” by Stephen E Ambrose, a book about the Lewis and Clark expedition in the U.S. in the early 1800s.  Lewis was a young guy but he enjoyed himself immensely as he made his way across the western United States on an exploration to the Pacific Ocean.  Ambrose has a great description of Lewis, one that would be worthy of any follower of Christ.

“Lewis had come to a point that he had longed for, worked for, dreamed of all his life.

He was ready, intensely alive. Every nerve ending was sensitive to the slightest change, whether what the eye saw or the skin felt or the ears heard or the tongue tasted or the fingers touched.  He had an endearing sense of wonder and awe at the marvels of nature that made him the nearly perfect man to be the first to describe the glories of the American West.”  216

Would someone describe me as being “ready and intensely alive” ?   If not, why not?  What is the alternative? Sometimes, I want to make an excuse since I live in a mega-city like Manila but is it not also a place of wonder and awe?  This is where God has put me, for now anyway. Why would I want to live any other way when I can live every day, treasuring each moment and every encounter, treasuring the world and people around me.

I’m done

Finished, kaput, tapos na–”I’m done” were the final words of Daniel Plainview in “There Will Be Blood,” a movie I watched last night. I was not surprised to later read that Daniel Day Lewis received an academy award for best actor. Since I grew up around oil rigs myself, I found myself strangely attracted to Daniel and his “son”. I still can’t figure out if he was an honest businessman and a loving Father or a deceiver who would do whatever it took to get to his objective. Did he achieve what he wanted at the end of his life when he said, “I’m done?” I hope not!

“I’m done” were the reported words of Tiger Woods as he came off an amazing second round of the U.S. Open. “I’m done,” Woods said. “It was nice that I could finish this round.” With an injured leg, he caught up and went into the lead with some magical golf.

Of course, this makes me think of Paul’s “I’m done” in 2 Tim 4:6-7 and of what I read today in Psalm 84:5 “Happy are those who are strong in YHWH, who set their minds on pilgrimage to Jerusalem.” A pilgrim knew he had arrived in Jerusalem, Tiger knows he has arrived when he finishes that last hole, Daniel Plainview knew ??? Where am I headed? I think that my chief ambition in life is to live a life of obedience. It sure makes life a lot simpler and more fulfilling. If I can be present in the moment where God is at work, will not everything else come? Isn’t that what Jesus meant when he said, “Seek first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added to you?” I don’t think I am seeking fame or power or money or pleasure or knowledge–I enjoy all of those things but I hope my life does not revolve around them, I don’t think that is where I am headed. I must admit that I get distracted by the desire for success, to be spoken well of by all men, to find intimacy in relationships, to stay healthy but hopefully those are but momentary distractions.   And, then there is UGLY PRIDE!.  Ouch!  I guess I am not yet done, eh?

The sexual revolution: a problem for atheism

Just read the first installment of the Loser Letters, a brilliant Christian apologetic by Mary Eberstadt.

She describes this post:

An open letter to those spokesmen for the New Atheism who have labored mightily these last few years to sweep aside religion’s paralytic webs of superstition and prejudice, and to liberate the rest of our Species via Science and Enlightenment:

This particular letter discusses the problem of the sexual revolution for atheism. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry! An excerpt from the Loser Letters

I’m just saying something none of You mentioned when you talked about sex, which is that this is what things look like when We atheists get our way.

and later

The sexual revolution is “proof that secular so-called morality once unleashed would do some real damage in the world.”

This was published on May 16, 2008 on National Review Online and thanks to Yipeng, I found the next three and will be making a post about them. Just read the second one on the problem of logic for atheism!

How to find healing

I like very much this quote from Rob Bell in his book, Sex God.

“We’ll never heal until we can identify who did what when. Only then can we begin the process of being set free.” 45

Hearing loss or selective hearing?

You know who sent this to me about a month ago and I am not saying I am convinced or anything but since I am a teachable guy, I guess I should get my hearing checked, DARLING!  Nor, am I saying I agree with everything in this post from Desonta  Holder that was in the Houston Chronicle. Actually, I think she greatly exagerates point three!

5 things you may not know about hearing loss By DESONTA HOLDER

Energizer Holdings recently conducted an “All Ears” survey of 1,065 baby boomers whose spouses suffer from hearing loss. Key findings include:

1. Listen up: Being hard of hearing can cause hard feelings. About half (47.8 percent) of the respondents feel that their marriage has suffered because of their spouse’s hearing loss. Nearly seven out of 10 (64.8 percent) respondents feel annoyed when their spouse cannot hear them. In addition, 16.4 percent feel ignored and 8.1 percent feel sad or hurt.

2. Loud talkers: Raised voices become more familiar. More than half (59.8 percent) find themselves in recent years talking louder daily so their spouse can hear them. And 83.4 percent feel that if they talk loud enough, it would help their spouse better understand what they are saying.

3. Sounds like a sandwich: Is it hearing loss, or selective hearing? While 45.3 percent of respondents believe their spouse doesn’t hear chore requests, 77.5 percent say their spouse can hear them fix a snack.

4. In denial: Nearly half believe their spouse is in denial about their hearing loss. Of the boomers surveyed, 56.8 percent feel their spouse is reluctant to get his or her hearing checked. Nearly half (46.4 percent) feel that denial is the No. 1 reason.

5. Time for check-up: Hearing screenings are few and far between. More than a third (35.6 percent) know their spouse hasn’t had his or her hearing checked in more than three years. Moreover, 23.4 percent revealed that their spouse has never had his or her hearing checked.

For more information, access www.energizer.com/livehealthy.

Brought to you by the HoustonChronicle.com

“This” is actually about “that”

Rob Bell in Sex God writes about the connection between our spirituality and our sexuality.  I am finding this helpful as he expands it.  In thinking about desires this morning, I went back to his book.  I think he is trying to show that our desires for sexuality are intimately related to our desires for connection–with others and with God.

He writes abut physical things–

“this picture, trophy, artifact, gift–is actually about that relationship, that truth, that reality, that moment of time.” 

“This is actually about that.

Whether it’s what we do with our energies or how we feel about our bodies or wanting to have control in relationships or trying to recover from heartbreak or dealing with our ferocious appetites or the difficulty of communicating clearly with those we love or longing for something or someone better, much of life is in some way connected with our sexuality.

And when we begin to sort through all of the issues surrounding our sexuality we quickly end up in the spiritual,

because this

is always about that.

I understand what he is saying–it helps me to make sense of my own struggles and frustrations.  It helps me to see why things go so terribly wrong for so many. Bell concludes his preface:

Because this is really about that

It’s always about something else.

Something deeper. Something behind it all.  You can’t talk about your sexuality without talking about how we were made.  and that will inevitably lead you to who made us.  At some point you have to talk about God.

Sex. God. They’re connected.  And they can’t be separated.  Where the one is, you will always find the other.  This is a book about how sexuality is the “this” and spirituality is the “that.” To make sense of the one, we have to explore the other.

Comments?  Reactions?