No more secrets

Stayed home today from the office so I could have some extra time to read, pray and be quiet.  Good decision.  I have been tired, physically, emotionally and I suppose spiritually.  Reading Psalm 103 this week–what a perfect selection–a delight it is to read out loud, to savor the words and allow them to penetrate my inner being.  Spent significant time this morning being silent and just listening although sometimes I think I may have dozed off or began day dreaming because a loud noise startles me.  Our house is the quietest house and most comfortable one we have ever had living here in the Philippines.  Sometimes, I feel guilty about living here but that is so foolish to not receive and enjoy God’s good gift to us.

I have been interested in some of the discussion going on about The Shack, a book by Paul Young. A link on Internet Monk this morning led me to his site and to another one where I listened to an interview with Paul Young by Steve Brown who is apparently a radio talk show host. As I listened to Paul talk about the book and his own life, I want to read it more than ever (have yet to find it anywhere in Manila).  In the interview he talks about his own healing from past hurts and shame and I enjoyed listening to him talk about the freedom God has given to him–no more secrets, nothing to hide.  God has brought me a long way but in listening to this interview, I realize that there remain a few dark spots in my life–partially hidden places–and I sense God is wooing me to take some potentially painful inner looks once again.  That’s another thing I liked about Paul Young–he said that he was not sufficiently healed to write this book until he was 50!  Ok, I am a few years beyond that but as he said, I sure don’t want to get to age 70 and look back with regrets.

You can go to windrumors.com to find some writing for Paul Young and more about his book.  Read this post this morning on ambiguity. Before I give you this quote, let me say that I am not endorsing his book–yet. I am not sure what he is doing with the gender thing and I know there are a number of people out there troubled by his fictional narrative about meeting with God but I can’t address that now. I assume that in this quote he is talking about spending time talking with God, “I love just being with Papa knowing that he knows, even before I say anything and yet respectful as she waits.”